USA

The highlight of our stay was dinner with Amy & Deb, two of my best friends from college, along with their spouses. There's a great story about the three of us. One night in 1981 or so I had dinner with Deb and came out to her, told her I was gay. A few weeks later I learned - she couldn't share it with me at the time - that Amy had come out to her that very same day over lunch. And here we are 35 years later and still great friends.

The highlight of our stay was dinner with Amy & Deb, two of my best friends from college, along with their spouses. There’s a great story about the three of us. One night in 1981 or so I had dinner with Deb and came out to her, told her I was gay. A few weeks later I learned – she couldn’t share it with me at the time – that Amy had come out to her that very same day over lunch. And here we are 35 years later and still great friends.

Three days in Minneapolis – where I lived for 10 years in the 1970s and 1980s – was supposed to be mostly about visiting old friends and wandering around my old haunts. There was a bit of that, but mostly it was about trying to find my luggage.

Sigh. Just three months after Air France lost my luggage flying from Buenos Aires to Paris, Delta lost my luggage flying from Paris to Minneapolis. And as this was a direct flight, no connections to complicate things, it made no sense that my luggage didn’t make it to Minneapolis with me. But what a comedy of errors it turned out to me.

Hubert Humphrey was my hero as a kid, and the guy who inspired me to work for the public good. This statue was put up in front of City Hall - where I used to work and where he served as mayor in the 1940s - some years after I left the city.

Hubert Humphrey was my hero as a kid, and the guy who inspired me to work for the public good. This statue was put up in front of City Hall – where I used to work and where he served as mayor in the 1940s – some years after I left the city.

The first challenge was filing the report. We were staying at the W Hotel right downtown, but the woman filling out the form needed the address and couldn’t find the hotel in the list she was looking at. After a few minutes I asked if I could see the list … and it only went up to the S’s. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t find the W Hotel. So she got another binder and found the hotel.

I fully expected the luggage to be delivered that night and the next morning the online tracking system indicated it had been delivered right after midnight. So I went to the lobby, but there was no bag. The guy at the desk said he’d been on duty since 11:00 PM and he insisted that no one had delivered anything. I called Delta and they said yes, it had been delivered at 8 Marquette Ave. Except the hotel was at 821 Marquette Ave. The woman who didn’t know that W comes after S also couldn’t get the address right.

So then hours and multiple calls trying to get someone at Delta to find my bag, wherever they’d delivered it, and bring it to our hotel. Not having much luck. Eventually the hotel reported that the delivery company had showed up asking to pick up a bag for a Mr. St. George. Didn’t exactly increase my confidence level.

Finally the next night, our last night in Minneapolis, they delivered my bag. Or at least they delivered a bag. Someone at the airport had hand written my name and file number on a tag, but it wasn’t my bag; the computer generated baggage tag attached when the guy had checked in indicated it belonged to a Mohammed somebody-or-other. Definitely not feeling confident.

So we left Minneapolis without my bag, stopping at a mall to buy enough clothes to get me through a week with my family on a lake way, way up north. Instead of all the fun I’d been expecting in my old home town I ended up spending hours on the phone and shopping for essentials. To finish the story, much to my surprise they delivered my bag a few days later up at the lodge on Lake Vermilion. At one point I checked online and they said my bag was on a flight from Portland to Seattle – really? – but then it flew to Minneapolis, on to Hibbing, and someone drove it to our lodge.

That was the memorable story of Minneapolis. We’ll see how much Delta will reimburse me for the stuff I needed to buy to get through the six days without any luggage, along with a not unreasonable expectation that I would not get the bag while we were up north.

The city keeps changing for the better. This is the new Vikings stadium on the edge of downtown (like really new; the Vikings had their first workout while we were there) and we thought it was gorgeous, a really beautiful piece of architecture. Who'd have ever expected a football stadium to be so cool?

The city keeps changing for the better. This is the new Vikings stadium on the edge of downtown (like really new; the Vikings had their first workout while we were there) and we thought it was gorgeous, a really beautiful piece of architecture. Who’d have ever expected a football stadium to be so cool?

Meanwhile, we had a great time on our first stop in the U.S. It’s a little weird being back here. They serve big glasses of cold water in restaurants. For free! You have to think of the ground floor as the first floor, when in much of the world the first floor is the floor above the ground floor. You can take a shower in the hotel expecting that water won’t leak everywhere. You can order cocktails and they’re big, good, and quick. (One of the things that always surprises me when we order drinks outside the U.S. is how crazy long it takes them to make them.) You look at a menu and, when you try to calculate an exchange rate, you realize you don’t have to. When Mark & I are done eating, the wait staff often asks if we want separate checks. Never happens outside the country. And then there’s the CVS, a store for all your essentials that just doesn’t exist in other countries.

The view from our bathroom. Our hotel was in the old Foshay Tower, an art deco building that was the tallest in Minneapolis from 1929 until 1972.

The view from our bathroom. Our hotel was in the old Foshay Tower, an art deco building that was the tallest in Minneapolis from 1929 until 1972.

One great story. We rented a car for our time in Minnesota, since from here we’re driving north for a week. We parked in a garage directly across from the hotel, where a sign indicated it was $23 for 24 hours. We left it there for just under 48 hours when we needed it and the bill at a kiosk outside the garage was for $67. How could that be? We expected to pay $46, but where did the other $21 come from? There was a phone there in case of problems, and the woman on duty explained that we’d been there for parts of three days, so they charged us for three days, not two. We argued, but she was adamant: it was a $67 charge.

We were beside ourselves with frustration, when I noticed in small print on the kiosk that the charge for a lost card was $23, the full one-day charge. So we pushed the button saying we’d lost our card and got charged $23, instead of the $46 we were willing and prepared to pay. I believe in paying what I owe, but if they’re going to try to screw with us by charging us extra I didn’t really feel too guilty about getting a free day of parking. In fact, I feel pretty good about it!

So that was Minneapolis. We had a great time with old friends: lunch with an old college roommate, dinner with a favorite VAN staff person who now works remotely from Minneapolis, dinner with some of my best friends from college, breakfast with old friends from Minneapolis campaigns. Then it was off to the Great Northland, in case you thought Minneapolis wasn’t far enough north.

A huge change from when I lived here is that a whole neighborhood with tens of thousands of people has sprung up downtown, many living in old warehouses like this along the Mississippi River. It's made the city so much more interesting than it used to be.

A huge change from when I lived here is that a whole neighborhood with tens of thousands of people has spring up downtown, many living in old warehouses like this along the Mississippi River. It’s made the city so much more interesting than it used to be.

My five siblings and me with Mom after the funeral. Mom wasn't really into the black thing. And as for my Dad, you can tell you've lived a long life when your four sons are all pretty much bald.

My five siblings and me with Mom after the funeral. Mom wasn’t really into the black thing. And as for my Dad, you can tell you’ve lived a long life when your four sons are all pretty much bald.

Going home for my Dad’s funeral was obviously a sad experience but I was surprised that it was also a beautiful experience. It was wonderful and truly comforting to spend a week with my family: five siblings (most of whom I’m very fond of), my grieving Mom, and a BIG extended family. I introduced Mark to an old high school classmate who was also my fifth cousin, which is probably the best example of what an extended family really means. Lots of my own first cousins as well as well as a few remaining aunts and uncles, and some of my own nieces and nephews. Really not much more to add except how comforting it was to share it all with my brothers and sisters and their families.

Me & Dex, the cancer survivor, with his brother Mat looking on

Me & Dex, the cancer survivor, with his brother Mat looking on

Beyond that there was also a couple of opportunities to genuinely celebrate. One of my great-nephews – my older brother’s grandson – had been diagnosed with a rare and aggressive cancer almost two years ago; he was given just a 20 percent chance of survival. But survive he did and in fact got a clean bill of health from an MRI scan while we were there and then got his final “port” removed (basically a tube into his chest so they could administer drugs without hooking him up anew every time). So we lost my 83-year-old father but gained a cancer-free nine-year-old at the same time. My Dad would have been the first to approve of that trade.

And then I learned that another of my relatives, a smart and charming 12-year-old, had just recently come out. I spent some time talking with him about his experience and the response at school and could just really celebrate the progress we’ve made. It was inconceivable that a 12-year-old could have come out when I was in school – I’m sure they’d have sent him to electro-shock therapy or something like that – but now it’s pretty much OK and increasingly normal. He’s happy, comfortable, and reasonably well accepted. I told him about the “It Gets Better” website, built to help LGBT teenagers experiencing harassment, except apparently it’s already good; there’s not much needed for him at least in terms of getting better. That makes me very, very happy.

So yes, my Dad’s death and the funeral were sad. Very sad. But it was also a week to celebrate family and some other good things in life. But after a week at home it’s time to go back to Italy and resume our previously scheduled programming. Next stop, Tuscany.

My brother Al, Mark, me, and Mark's sister Jeanne, with Duluth's iconic Aerial Lift Bridge behind us

My brother Al, Mark, me, and Mark’s sister Jeanne, with Duluth’s iconic Aerial Lift Bridge behind us

My cousin Janet, who sang at Dad's funeral, with his cousin Elaine

My cousin Janet, who sang at Dad’s funeral, with his cousin Elaine

A highlight for me and Mark was the day after the funeral when we ended up taking Mat & Dex to a carnival

A highlight for me and Mark was the day after the funeral when we ended up taking Mat & Dex to a carnival

Mark & Dex on a ride with little Tori, a friend of the family who has pretty much become family

Mark & Dex on a ride with little Tori, a friend of the family who has pretty much become family

A day or two after the funeral most of us went hiking on part of the Superior Hiking Trail overlooking Lake Superior and St. Louis Bay. Here I am with Al's wife Anita.

A day or two after the funeral most of us went hiking on part of the Superior Hiking Trail overlooking Lake Superior and St. Louis Bay. Here I am with Al’s wife Anita.

Mark & my sister-in-law Karen on the trail

Mark & my sister-in-law Karen on the trail

After dinner our last night in Duluth at my brother Vic's house we went into the backyard for a fire and s'mores. Here's Vic with Dex & Mark.

After dinner our last night in Duluth at my brother Vic’s house we went into the backyard for a fire and s’mores. Here’s Vic with Dex & Mark.

I've long thought the Public Garden in Boston is the most beautiful urban space in the country. Now I think it's one of the most beautiful urban spaces in the world. For the record Mark took this picture of me there on the left taking a picture of the Public Garden.

I’ve long thought the Public Garden in Boston is the most beautiful urban space in the country. Now I think it’s one of the most beautiful urban spaces in the world. For the record Mark took this picture of me there on the left taking a picture of the Public Garden.

A few months ago we decided that, instead of spending the winter in Africa as was then our tentative plan, we would fly back to Boston for a New Year’s Eve wedding and then go down to Latin America. Imagine our delight, then, to find a direct non-stop flight from Dakar to Dulles Airport in suburban Virginia. Or at least imagine our delight in finding that flight if you knew Mark’s sister lives in suburban Virginia not far at all from Dulles. It seemed as though it was meant to be.

Thus we found ourselves arriving in the DC area at 6:30 AM on December 27. Arriving back in the States is a little disorienting for us, almost like a bit of culture shock. Everything is so big and clean and smooth and easy. You can buy anything you need (and lots of things you don’t need) and it’s pretty easy to figure out where to get it. People love to complain about the traffic and crazy drivers pretty much wherever you are, but if you haven’t traveled in Italy or Senegal or Bangkok or damned near anywhere else we’ve been, you have no right to complain.

Mark with his parents and sister Jeanne in front of her Christmas tree

Mark with his parents and sister Jeanne in front of her Christmas tree

At any rate, here we were for a two-day visit with Mark’s sister and her family. And then it turns out his parents had come out for Christmas and decided to stay for our visit so we got to see them, too. Jeanne accommodated all our shopping needs – when traveling long-term outside the U.S. you build up a list of things you really want to get if and when you ever get back – and cooked for us in her spare time. Then we’d play games after dinner and maybe have a drink or two. A great short visit.

Mark & his mother deep into one of our evening games

Mark & his mother deep into one of our evening games

Then it was a quick flight up to Boston for the main event, the wedding of a great friend and former employee. (Former as in he’s still there, but we’re not.) It’s always strange to go back to a city you lived in for nearly 20 years and see it as a tourist, staying in a downtown hotel instead of our old Cambridge neighborhood. It’s easy to forget when you live there just what a beautiful city Boston is, but after a couple years away we were really struck by Boston. Not enough to want to live there in the winter again, but struck nonetheless.

Lots of our time was taken up by various wedding activities, including of course the main event on New Year’s Eve at the Institute of Contemporary Art, a pretty great venue for a wedding. We also had time to see some old friends who weren’t part of the wedding but the strange thing is that we were enjoying those visits so much that we didn’t take any pictures of them. So you’ll have to trust me that dinner with Marc – whom we may have convinced to join us biking in Italy early next summer – and lunch with Dara, Randi, and Al were great fun.

Shayna & John getting ready to take their vows. Their friend Jane is officiating; they met her back in 2008 when Jane was an intern for us!

Shayna & John getting ready to take their vows. Their friend Jane is officiating; they met her back in 2008 when Jane was an intern for us!

Here I am at a cocktail party the night before the wedding with Paul, Jane's husband. Who also happens to be Mark's sister's husband's sister's son. Married to a former intern of ours. Yes, a very small world indeed.

Here I am at a cocktail party the night before the wedding with Paul, Jane’s husband. Who also happens to be Mark’s sister’s husband’s sister’s son. Married to a former intern of ours. Yes, a very small world indeed.

And the wedding was as you’d expect from a great wedding. We had hired John Lee as a summer intern maybe 10 years ago and knew from the start that some day he would take over for us. And sure enough, that’s what he did when we left now going on three years ago. The wedding itself was beautiful but of course the big deal for us at least was a chance to reconnect with lots of great friends from the company. Unfortunately, most of the pictures just didn’t work – either too dark and blurry if we didn’t use a flash and too glaringly bright if we did. Again, trust me that flying from Africa was totally worth it for a chance to play with our old friends.

That was our lightening-quick visit back to the states: two days with Mark’s family in Virginia and four days with old friends in Boston, about as much winter as I need for any year. Then it was a long flight down to Mexico City where we spent the night before continuing on the next day to Puerto Escondito for a couple weeks on the beach.

Mark and his colorful coat on a beautiful winter day  in the Public Garden

Mark and his colorful coat on a beautiful winter day in the Public Garden

We didn’t take a single picture during that brief stay in Mexico City – a place we often love – but there were two things that really stood out for me. One was while we were in a shopping mall in the Zona Rosa near our hotel shopping for SIM cards for our iPhones. A perfectly ordinary urban shopping mall but you couldn’t help but noticing the blatant public displays of affection among young gay Mexicans. Lots of touching and hand-holding and kissing, and I don’t mean chaste little pecks on the cheek or European-style greeting kisses. These were full on … well, trust me. So much for conservative Catholic Mexico. Makes me start to feel a little old.

The other wasn’t quite so fun or interesting, just spending two-and-a-half hours on Skype with AT&T trying to get my phone unlocked so I can use those Mexican SIM cards (and later Guatemalan SIM cards and Argentinian SIM cards and so on). A week ago I requested that service and paid over $300 to get it done, money that we’ll quickly save as we quit paying outrageous AT&T monthly charges. In the meantime, though, I’m getting a huge runaround. Another 40 minutes on the phone today and still no progress. I suppose I can’t really complain, though, since now we’ve made it to the beach and, when I’m not on the phone with AT&T life here is pretty good. More on all that in a couple days.

You have to love Boston. Here we are in Boston Commons in front of the State House with the local atheists wishing us "Reason's Greetings." I bet they don't do that in front of the State House in Mississippi!

You have to love Boston. Here we are in Boston Commons in front of the State House with the local atheists wishing us “Reason’s Greetings.” I bet they don’t do that in front of the State House in Mississippi!

Our first evening in the Back Bay was cold and rainy and beautiful

Our first evening in the Back Bay was cold and rainy and beautiful

Another view of the State House, this time before the snow melted. I spent a lot of time in that building when I was doing policy work and always loved the golden dome. And yes, it's covered in real gold.

Another view of the State House, this time before the snow melted. I spent a lot of time in that building when I was doing policy work and always loved the golden dome. And yes, it’s covered in real gold.

Another view of the Public Garden

Another view of the Public Garden

Me and Mark enchanted with Boston's beauty

Me and Mark enchanted with Boston’s beauty

Back to Viena, our fellow Greek travelers Laura & Dan with their kids joined us for dinner. And then they're going to join us in Italy next sumer!

Back to Viena, our fellow Greek travelers Laura & Dan with their kids joined us for dinner. And then they’re going to join us in Italy next sumer!

And finally a whole bunch of El-Hindis and Sullivans

And finally a whole bunch of El-Hindis and Sullivans